Why Dating Is So Hard For Those Of Us Who Want Something Real
Imagine dating someone with these thought running through their mind. I am a female in my 30s and have had my fair share of dating and relationships. I’ve definitely been upset, hurt, used, bullied, objectified and I have caused hurt, confusion, rejection and disappointment. Its usually not intentional, its a learning experience.
It will help you if you are unclear of how you come across. You’ve got stuff, showcase it instead of yelling about vile females? Some of it is the men of the past whom really hurt them, give them a break and many have been oppressed, abused, beaten physically and emotionally – generationally. Be a loving person, work on yourself and be realistic.
But it’s also a faster, and often more efficient way to meet someone with similar interests. In all likelihood the people you will be chatting with will find it hard too, and that’s a nice ice breaker, too. If you’re looking to meet new people and have casual sex in the back of a bar, dating is fun and stress-free. But if you’re looking for something serious, good luck to you.
Don’t dwell on it, but learn from the experience. Don’t beat yourself up over any mistakes you think you made. If it happens repeatedly, though, take some time to reflect on how you relate to others, and any problems you need to work on. Dealing with rejection in a healthy way can increase your strength and resilience.
However, you’ll also find beautiful, loving, caring, successful, independent women with no kids, who are not emotionally damaged. It’s crazy how great things are when it comes to relationships as soon as we leave the U.S. I’m 29-years-old and currently live with parents, with plans to move out soon. However, I have multiple degrees–including a law degree–under my belt, as well as debt paid off and a very decent starting salary as an economic policy analyst. My self-esteem is low, but others generally consider me handsome and at least mildly attractive. I’m also in shape and an intermediate-stage weightlifter, so I do take care of my health.
But it is possible to learn to trust others. By working with the right therapist or in a supportive group therapy setting, you can identify the source of your mistrust and explore ways to build richer, more fulfilling relationships. Online dating, singles events, and matchmaking services like speed dating are enjoyable for some people, but for others they can feel more like high-pressure job interviews.
Dating is hard at any age, but entering a new decade introduces a whole new set of nuances. If you thought you finally nailed the dating game in your 20s, it might feel frustrating and overwhelming once you hit 30. The truth is dating in your 30s is very different from dating in your 20s.
You probably have a better idea of what you’re going to focus on in life, what type of environment you want to live in, whether or not you want to have children, etc. It’s more likely, then, that you’ll seek out a partner with similar goals and lifestyle habits rather than date around just for the experience. Once upon a time, most people met their spouses through school, work, rec league, a friend of the family, or a friend of a friend. Of course not every college relationship or office romance works out, but finding a date that way does give you a bit of common ground to start with.
And, this is after trying matchmaking, Tinder, Bumble, Ok Cupid, Hinge, virtually every other dating app, and attending singles events. They have taken the advice from well-meaning friends and family about how to “land a man” . In this era of information overload and access to thousands of people , things should be easier, but they aren’t. It is very sad to say that most women out there now have a lot of very severe mental issues unfortunately, making the dating scene a real nightmare for many of us single guys now. Look for an average guy with similar value as yours and personality match.Give nice guys a chance, yes we men are sexually motivated unlike women who are motivated for relationship.
But my honest answer to the whole “what’s it like to date now” question? Dating kind of sucked before the pandemic—and recognizing that it has always been potentially awesome and regularly trash can help us stay grounded during this incredibly chaotic time. There are large differences by gender on this topic. In turn, men are much more likely than women to say difficulty approaching people is a major reason.