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Premature Infatuation??

So welcome back to the dating world! The question is, are you ready to jump back into these fun and games – or are you a victim of premature infatuation?

A very common solution that people have to healing a broken heart is to find another relationship to make the pain go away. One of the biggest issues with doing this is people manage to find the same relationship they were in before…the only thing different is the person’s name and maybe their hair color. Many times the issues and patterns are still there.

How do you know if you are being a bit too eager to start dating again? Here are a few signs that show you may need to slow down and take some time off from dating and heal your heart first.

Are you still doing favors on a regular basis for your ex?
For example, having a key to their house and taking care of their dog every week while they are traveling.. You don’t need to be mean to them, but you need to create distance and space. You are no longer their “honey,” so you are no longer obligated to complete their “honey do” list.

Do you check up on your ex through Facebook, Twitter, their blog or by camping out in the bushes in front of their house?
I am sure that your ex is a great person. If they weren’t you wouldn’t have spent part of your life with them. The thing is, you need to let them go…completely…to allow the emotional and mental healing to take place that heals your heart for your ideal partner.

After your first date, does your date know all there is to know about your ex? (Either good or bad?)
If your thoughts and conversations are still filled with your ex (either happy conversations or not-so-happy conversations) then you are not over them. It isn’t “bad” it just means you probably should be working on yourself and hold off on dating.

Do you tell people, “But my relationship has been over for a while, so even though it just ended I am ready to get involved again.”
This is a good one. The thing is, if you are still participating in the relationship, in any way, shape or form, you still need time to go through the whole grieving process of the relationship ending.

Why is this such an big deal?

If you are too eager to start dating and enter into a relationship before you are healed, you are setting both people for pain and heartache. Instead of jumping into a relationship with someone else, spend some time getting to know you. Write down some new things you want to try, places you want to travel, food you want to eat. Make some new friends. Go to the movies by yourself. Become the person that will attract the type of mate you want to have come into your life.

Life is short, but it becomes way to long when you are spending it with the wrong person!
If you are in a place where you answered  yes to some of the questions above, but want to move through the healing process and start a healthy dating program, please contact Tracy Fagan for a complimentary coaching session.